Shaving Is A Hassle

I'd rather not shave. I was thinking of doing a thing for No-Shave November, but I was like 'nah' instead.

So yeah. I'm running into that old problem I keep running into -- I'm out of things to blog about. I don't want to make post after post about how I'm a pathetic loser, but it's kind of telling that that's the only thing I can think to blog about!

Maybe I should be more open. Maybe I should make this a more public blog. But I can't stomach the thought of sharing weakness with people I know in real life.

I have something wrong with me.

Ugh. Whatever, just keeping the blogmentum up.

O, the Sorrows of the Privileged

- Got my Sega Genesis back from my grandma
- Out of power outlets
-

Live Music

Live music is good.

Decided I'd better not spend another night by myself in my house and I couldn't get anyone to come with me, so I just drove an hour to see a band I like. I went by myself and it was a tiny show, I think only 15 people were in teh building, including band members, at any given time. But the venue was cool, the bands that I saw were really good, and I walked out of there feeling like my music hobby could get some traction.

Countdown to me fucking this up begins... RIGHTNOW

*tap. tap. echo.*

hey.

Not feeling so great. Gonna give this another try.

Lately I feel less like a human and more like a burden, or a tumor, waiting to be discarded or extracted. I don't believe in myself, I don't believe that anyone believes in me, or trusts me, or, outside of family, thinks of me as more than an expendable distraction.

My life is boring and I'm content and I've given up. I fucked up my one shot at living, and it's too late to take it back. So now what?

Football is what. Football and loud fucking music and fifths of bourbon whiskey and trying to forget how much I can't fucking stand myself. Or at least distract myself with other things so I don't have to think about it too much.






so yeah i'm blogging again. got a new job. it's okay.