An iron-fisted champion... An iron-willed fuck up.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
ugh
as clarification, i just have a quite often-recurring feeling of wanting my life to be so drastically different in ways that are within my control but i'm too scared to take action, and i think that's a huge part of why i hate myself.
interesting. as a curious cat i want to know more! ;) not that this is any new news but for the sake of interacting: I think I felt similar sentiments when I was 23-25 and late in my 26th year I decided to change myself. Two years later I'm much happier and now of course I regret going so many years upset believing that I didn't have the power to better myself. So I don't know what your exact circumstances are so perhaps this is ill advised but fear alone is a poor reason to give up prime years that you can never get back. We all know what we should be doing...but so few of us take action...
Yeah, but what did you change? I don't know what to change, except for to throw the last 7 years of my life away and start from scratch doing something incredibly risky that has a very low chance of paying off, and even if it does it's an even lower chance I'll be half as "successful" financially as I would be had I just stayed put.
I want to be a musician. I want to go on the road and tour and play music and make music and live the life and everything. But how the hell do I do that NOW?
I feel like I was born to do something and I chickened out, and now life is just a list of compromises.
Ah yea this is different from me -- I have been lucky to end up getting a job that happens to be equal to my hobby. I was unhappy with my social/personal life because I had self-esteem problems with my physical appearance. So a few years ago I started working hard to get healthy, get active, and improve. Its definitely much easier to do this than it is to change your entire career and life direction.
There are people that know how to do this successfully however, so while I don't really have any good advice for how one might go about doing it, I'm convinced it can be done. Music though is probably a very difficult thing to break into as a career at 25. I know a few people that are professional musicians but they all went to music undergrad programs and started internships at studios etc during college. Thats how they made the connections to be picked up as touring members of various regional bands that needed people. But you can always start playing local things for fun to feed your soul so to speak. Its not like you have to take a big risk-- find a band to join and start playing shows! I've been in a number of bands in high school and college and we got to play all over town. Some of the best times of my life really...
interesting. as a curious cat i want to know more! ;) not that this is any new news but for the sake of interacting: I think I felt similar sentiments when I was 23-25 and late in my 26th year I decided to change myself. Two years later I'm much happier and now of course I regret going so many years upset believing that I didn't have the power to better myself. So I don't know what your exact circumstances are so perhaps this is ill advised but fear alone is a poor reason to give up prime years that you can never get back. We all know what we should be doing...but so few of us take action...
ReplyDeleteYeah, but what did you change? I don't know what to change, except for to throw the last 7 years of my life away and start from scratch doing something incredibly risky that has a very low chance of paying off, and even if it does it's an even lower chance I'll be half as "successful" financially as I would be had I just stayed put.
DeleteI want to be a musician. I want to go on the road and tour and play music and make music and live the life and everything. But how the hell do I do that NOW?
I feel like I was born to do something and I chickened out, and now life is just a list of compromises.
Ah yea this is different from me -- I have been lucky to end up getting a job that happens to be equal to my hobby. I was unhappy with my social/personal life because I had self-esteem problems with my physical appearance. So a few years ago I started working hard to get healthy, get active, and improve. Its definitely much easier to do this than it is to change your entire career and life direction.
ReplyDeleteThere are people that know how to do this successfully however, so while I don't really have any good advice for how one might go about doing it, I'm convinced it can be done. Music though is probably a very difficult thing to break into as a career at 25. I know a few people that are professional musicians but they all went to music undergrad programs and started internships at studios etc during college. Thats how they made the connections to be picked up as touring members of various regional bands that needed people. But you can always start playing local things for fun to feed your soul so to speak. Its not like you have to take a big risk-- find a band to join and start playing shows! I've been in a number of bands in high school and college and we got to play all over town. Some of the best times of my life really...
Steve